"Kent Brockman, Kent Brockman !, ...OI KENT!, get off get offff,, get the feck off!", these are often the calls heard from the deep depths of the Back dock, not exchange of mutual convosation but words of vulgar defense.
Colin was the type of bloke you didnt want on your side when you got into a situation where 3 gay guys are putting you in wrestling moves that carson from queer eye for the straight guy had choreographed whilst pouring honey and all other sorts of weird exotic sticky mixtures on you.
"why not ?" you might ask.
Well Colin would be that guy to join in with those violently horny gay men, not because they were gay or because he was gay, or even because there was honey just because they were doing it to me !. ( not that thats ever happened ).
Even if this moment happened Colin wouldnt enjoy it, it was like he was pushed, poked and prodded into feeling this way.
So what does Colin The Grayte do all day all night every waking hour of his life ?...Well he think about stuff like this. There was an ancient myth that Colin's penis was once named by Brucee-dor as Freya the jumping dragoon rattle snake, but freya for short, what they went through or why he called it that is a complete mystery to me. And from that day on it was always Freya and Colin.
Colin was the type of bloke you didnt want on your side when you got into a situation where 3 gay guys are putting you in wrestling moves that carson from queer eye for the straight guy had choreographed whilst pouring honey and all other sorts of weird exotic sticky mixtures on you.
"why not ?" you might ask.
Well Colin would be that guy to join in with those violently horny gay men, not because they were gay or because he was gay, or even because there was honey just because they were doing it to me !. ( not that thats ever happened ).
Even if this moment happened Colin wouldnt enjoy it, it was like he was pushed, poked and prodded into feeling this way.
So what does Colin The Grayte do all day all night every waking hour of his life ?...Well he think about stuff like this. There was an ancient myth that Colin's penis was once named by Brucee-dor as Freya the jumping dragoon rattle snake, but freya for short, what they went through or why he called it that is a complete mystery to me. And from that day on it was always Freya and Colin.
Absurd murders were happening all over town at that time aswell.
Colin began acting strangely in his surroundings. he started stealing from local markets and wearing this retro 70's paper bag on his head with the traditional eye holes cut out. ( some say it was just a mcdonalds bag from when he bought some hot cakes one morning. ).
"well thats normal" you may say to yourself but its not why he stole, its what he stole items such as
Dove, body soap
Quatro, biscuits
Faber Castel, colouring sets (textas)
and
Honey Naught crunch bars
Colin began acting strangely in his surroundings. he started stealing from local markets and wearing this retro 70's paper bag on his head with the traditional eye holes cut out. ( some say it was just a mcdonalds bag from when he bought some hot cakes one morning. ).
"well thats normal" you may say to yourself but its not why he stole, its what he stole items such as
Dove, body soap
Quatro, biscuits
Faber Castel, colouring sets (textas)
and
Honey Naught crunch bars
not to mention the toy sand castle kits
large quantities of these items missing from all the local stores why was this mad man stealing all these items the whole town was living in absolute fear. there was a crazy 100 year old bastard running around with soap, biscuits, texta's, confectionary and plastic spades and wheel barrows.
who could leave their homes, people began calling up sick to work. there were multiple deaths occuring all over town. people turning up dead covered in soap with a biscuit in their mouths a honey naught bar shoved up their ass and bizarre pornographic hand drawn pictures all over their bodies in texta. Cause of death: multiple plastic spade wounds to the head.
it was horrible to live through these days of my life but i knew i was safe, i knew colin. we all knew Colin The Grayte...at least we think we did.
He wound up being a Famous Lawyer for some subsided Firm, winning many cases in the defense of gay people and wild beasts that roamed our streets. Was this the doing of Freya, was this her doing ? we'll never know until we speak to her one on one. if any one is brave enough
Colin The Grayte was truly a weird feckd up kent...a Kent Brockman.
Dedicated to Freya and Colin
large quantities of these items missing from all the local stores why was this mad man stealing all these items the whole town was living in absolute fear. there was a crazy 100 year old bastard running around with soap, biscuits, texta's, confectionary and plastic spades and wheel barrows.
who could leave their homes, people began calling up sick to work. there were multiple deaths occuring all over town. people turning up dead covered in soap with a biscuit in their mouths a honey naught bar shoved up their ass and bizarre pornographic hand drawn pictures all over their bodies in texta. Cause of death: multiple plastic spade wounds to the head.
it was horrible to live through these days of my life but i knew i was safe, i knew colin. we all knew Colin The Grayte...at least we think we did.
He wound up being a Famous Lawyer for some subsided Firm, winning many cases in the defense of gay people and wild beasts that roamed our streets. Was this the doing of Freya, was this her doing ? we'll never know until we speak to her one on one. if any one is brave enough
Colin The Grayte was truly a weird feckd up kent...a Kent Brockman.
Dedicated to Freya and Colin
1 comment:
There is a moral to this story. Dont be a unikent like Colin or your fekt.
Amen
Long live C.K.
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